A Tender Heart and a Tough Will

 Alex - A Tender Heart and a Tough Will.

You’d think that a person couldn’t be described as both “tender” and “tough”, but those are the two words that I think best describe my Alex.  He has a heart that’s full of tenderness; sensitive to the needs of the people around him, and in tune with things of a spiritual nature.   His will, though, is as tough as nails.  When he sets his sights on something, he gets it done!

When Alex was just 3 years old, still so little, I was talking to him one day about Jesus.  I can still remember being in the kitchen in our Texas home and as I looked into his big brown eyes, I could tell that he was feeling something.  Acting a little confused at what he was feeling, he said something like, “I think I’m going to cry”.  Even though he was such a tiny boy, I knew he was feeling the spirit, and so we talked about that feeling that he was having and what a wonderful gift from Heavenly Father it is to be able to feel His spirit and know truth.  I already knew by then that Alex was a sensitive little guy, but I was so grateful on that day - and so impressed - that at such a young age, he was so in tune with heaven.

His tenderness definitely doesn’t keep him from having a tough will.  As the 6th child in a family of very active kids, Alex learned to compete early on in life.  At age 3, I was coaching Tiffany’s soccer team (ages 4-5).  Since Alex was always there with me at practice, the league said he could join the team even though he wasn’t old enough.  He was a natural.  He somehow knew all the rules (probably from watching a zillion games that his siblings played in), and he just had a knack for knowing how to dribble and where to go with the ball.  But the most impressive thing was his drive.  He was obviously shorter and smaller than everyone else on the field, but he didn’t let that influence his effort.  He competed for every ball.  He literally ran circles around some of the kids who were new to the game and didn’t really know what was going on, and he scrapped for the ball with 5 year olds who had been playing for 2 years and knew what they were doing.  Either way, Alex wasn’t afraid.  That season, Alex broke one collar bone,  scored a few goals, and entertained a whole bunch of spectators! 

Lonely Gratitude

*** I had these thoughts and wrote this poem when Dad and Mom were on one of their missions. Them serving each of their missions was hard for all of us, but their willingness to serve and their faithful service brought many blessings to us as their family and to the many people they grew to love in their mission areas.

Lonely Gratitude

This year I felt lonely on Thanksgiving Day.

My Mom and my Dad were so far away.

Instead of the usual Thanksgiving morning bustle

with all the girls in Mom's kitchen trying to hustle,

I spent it alone, just me and the flies

making my assigned potatoes and pies.

Dinner was good and it was pleasant to be there,

but I missed Mom's famous dressing and Dad's Thanksgiving prayer.

But then came this feeling that helped me to see

that this was the best Thanksgiving there could be.

The very word "Thanks" brought new meaning that day

as I thought of my parents, so far away.

Their earnest desire to do what is right -

to honor the Savior and serve with their might.

Maybe they were lonely on that Thanksgiving too,

but they spent it doing what they knew they should do.

Even though my folks were very far away,

They still could put sweet meaning into my Thanksgiving day.

Then came December with its sparkle and glow,

and again I was missing my parents so.

Instead of family parties and trimming their tree;

and helping Mom wrap presents for all the family,

our Christmas was different with few things to buy.

I felt something missing no matter how hard I tried.

The season was busy and we really had fun,

but I missed Dad's housetop star and Mom's love for everyone.

But then came this feeling that helped me to see

that it was the best Christmas there ever could be.

The value of the Christ Child brought new meaning that day

as I thought of my parents so far away.

Their witness of the Newborn Babe was spreading near and far

They honored the Son of God by following His Star.

Maybe they were lonely on that Christmas too,

but they spent it doing what they knew they should do

Even though my folks are very far away

They still could put the meaning into my Christmas day.

Stargazer

***  Mom always loved Lillies.  Her casket was covered with a large, beautiful bouquet of stargazer lillies.  Knowing Mom, I was struck with the comparison.  I dried some of the stargazer lillies and wrote this poem. 

Stargazer

In Memory of my Mom, Erma F. Andersen    (1923-1997)

     From your birth you seemed to  gaze upward to the stars, knowing where you came from and  your purpose here below.

    And you, following after heaven's light, generously shared your sparkle with all within the reach of your glow.

     With your love for life you made our lives brighter

     With great faith in eternity, we cling to hope tighter

      Your gentle touch warmed us as stars from above

      Yes, you were a vessel that carried God's love

   Now we gaze upward to the stars, knowing that your view from above is complete, and your gaze is now resting on us.

   And we, following after your beautiful light, must generously share heaven's brightness of hope.

Testimony - March 9, 1998

***  This is my testimony that I wrote for our Andersen Family Newsletter on March 9, 1998.  These words still describe my feelings today (2020)

Dear Family,

My testimony of the Savior stems from the deep gratitude I feel for His influence in my life - Gratitude that He supported Heavenly Fathers plan; gratitude for His exemplary life on earth; gratitude for His suffering for our sins; gratitude for Him giving His life, even when He had the power to live on so that He could rise and give each of us the ability to be ressurected; and gratitude that He has left with us His Peace.  I love the scripture in John 14:27 that says, "Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you, not as the world giveth, give I unto you".  Jesus knew that He wouldn't be able to be with His disciples for a long time.  He wanted to leave with them something that would comfort them in His absence, so He left for them His peace.  I know that the Savior loves each of us and that He offers us this same peace to comfort us and inspire us.  Many times in my life I've felt peace through the Savior.  There is no experience that the world offers that can match it.  It only comes through Him.  This is my testimony, in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.

GREAT Grandma - For Grandma Gecoza Krauss Jarvis

***  This was written for Tom's Grandma, Gecoza Jarvis, which is our children's Great Grandma.  With the poem, we gave her a card with the kids handprints on it.

To Our GREAT Grandma
We love you because our Dad and Mom do,
And Grandpa and Grandma sure love you too.
You're such a GREAT GRANDMA in more ways than one
We love you Great Grandma, for all that you've done.

So here are our hands; quite small still you see,
But as we grow up the more like yours they'll be.
For you taught our Grandma the best things you knew,
And she taught our Daddy as she saw you do.

Now our Dad teaches us to do the right thing.
Just think -- all of this because of your Mothering.
You've set the example; you've done what you should
Great Grandma, we thank you for being so good.

School Year's End

***  Written when I was Young Women's Pres. and attached to a gift bag for each of the girls. 

School Year's End
Hip, Hip Hooray - the school year is through,
And we want to say congratulations to you.
We're so proud of all the things that you've done.
The projects you've worked on, the awards that you've won.
The papers you've written, the grades that you've earned.
The ballgames you've played in, the music you've learned.
But most of all, we're so grateful to say,
That you've been an example on each school day.
And just like a lighthouse that spreads it's light,
Your standards are high and shining real bright.
So way to go girls, for a job well done.
We love you so much.  Hope your summer is fun!

                                              Your Young Women's Leaders

He is Light

Several weeks ago I took Josh in to get his 6 month shots and like sometimes happens, he got a little bit of a fever and didn't feel very well.  That night turned out to be miserable for both of us.  Every few minutes all through the night, he'd wake up crying.  I'd  climb out of bed, pick him up, and rock him back to sleep.  Then I'd carefully lay him down and creep into bed.  It seemed like I'd barely be drifting off to sleep and he'd begin to cry again and the whole thing would start all over.  Now I won't  mention what Tom was doing all this time, but I'll just say that even though he was there, he didn't even know it had happened.  Anyway, this routine went on all night long and I was exhausted - and poor little Josh probably was, too.  Then I remember one time he started to cry and when I opened my eyes, it was just the most wonderful feeling of relief because there was light peeking in from our bedroom windows.  It was finally morning and I was so grateful to see the light.

You know, light always brings a feeling of relief - especially after a long, dark night.   Maybe our nights of darkness are tragedies, loneliness, unanswered prayers, difficult decisions -- big or small,  No matter, we can always know that dawn is coming and that our hope will be answered with the Light of the World.  The Savior is always willing to share His light, to inspire us, to enlighten us with truth and just like the brightness that came shining through my window after a long dark night, the Savior will bring comfort to our souls.  He is light.


  It's just so wonderful when we make it through the darkness and last until the light come peeking in.

feeling the light from our Heavenly Father can bring us so much comfort.
  what a blessing it is in our lives that our Heavenly Father has given us windows of light and truth.  The feelings really aren't too different from those I had the other night.

T.J.'s Talk - Newborn Baby

**  I believe this was part of a  talk that T.J. gave at some point.  I don't think it's complete. It was type written, but at the top in big letters I had written, "Slow down and talk animated".  Such good motherly advice. 

When I was a newborn baby, I had a disease called Class B Streptococaus.  13 out 26,000 newborn babies  get it.  Out of the 13, 10 babies die.  The hospital tested my blood and found that my white blood cell count was really, really low.  Those are the blood cells that fight infection.  When a person  has an infection, the white blood count goes way up to fight the infection, but my body was losing the fight, and my white blood count was so low that I had no way to fight off the infection.  The doctors decided to transport me to a hospital in Phoenix where they had better things to take care of very sick babies.  Before they sent me, they took me into my Mom's hospital room and they let her put her hand into the incubator where I was and she could touch me and hold my hand.  They didn't think my Mom would ever see me alive again.  **And then my Dad and both of my Grandpa's laid their hands on my head and gave me my very first Priesthood blessing.  Of course, I was too young to remember this.  I don't know what they said in that blessing, but when I got to the hospital in Phoenix, they re-tested my blood.  My white blood count was really high.  They called the other hospital and asked if I had been given a blood transfusion.  I hadn't.  The doctors couldn't understand it.  They wondered what could have possibly changed that would now make it possible for me to fight off the infection and live.

This was my first experience with the great power of the Priesthood.  Since that time, I have been blessed many times from the Priesthood.  Sometimes the blessings have come from hands being placed on my head when I was sick or at other important times when I needed extra help.  These have meant a lot to me.  But just as important are the day to day ways that the Priesthood blesses our lives

"Eyes of Blue"

I wrote this poem on Peter's Blessing Day (October 25, 2016).  Tom flew up to be there, but $, or lack of it, required me to stay home.  I was so sad to be at home that day, and so I wrote down how I felt.

                 

Eyes of Blue

Sweet Peter with your eyes of blue,

My heart is full of love for you.

And on this special blessing day,

I wish I weren’t so far away.

Today I want to hold you tight

And kiss your chubby cheek good-night

I wish to see your wide mouth smile;

To hear your baby coo’s awhile.

I’d love to touch your tiny hand

And wonder what your life has planned

To whisper in your little ear

And tell you this, “You are so dear”.

So though I may be far away,

My thoughts are there with you today.

Sweet Peter with your eyes of blue,

My heart is full of love for you!

        I love you all and I’m really missing

         being there with you today!!!

                                             Mom/Grandma

Jonathan

When Josh was 4 or 5, Jan was in charge of some sort of event for people who work with the handicapped.  At the time, she was working with the State Health Dept. on issues concerning the handicapped.  She asked if Josh and Mike could do something with Jonathan as part of the program.  Josh gave this short introduction and then the three of them sang the song from the Children's Songbook that starts, "If you don't walk as most people do".  It was super cute.

This is Jonathan and he's our cousin.
We have lots and lots of fun with Jonathan.

Whenever he gets new clothes or a new haircut, he like's to show us and we brag about how handsome he looks.

Sometimes we play catch together with the basketball.
Jonathan is really, really good at dribbling the ball.

In our family we love to sing.  When Jonathan sings, we clap for him.  When we sing, Jonathan always claps for us.

When we go to his house, we like to watch Blue's Clue's together.  I think that's his favorite movie.

He laughs when we act funny and he's sad when we feel bad.

We just love Jonathan and we're so glad to be his buddies.

No Words - Poem for Dad

** Written for my Dad, Darl Andersen when I was a young teenager


                     No Words

I sit here with paper and pen
   and I search
      for words to write.

But there just aren't words
   good enough to give
      him justice.

How can words describe a man . . .
   -- Whose honest blue eyes actually speak
          words of kindness and love
            without saying a word?

   -- Who can lift dark clouds of a rainy day
          so high that I can't see them -
            even if they are still there?

   -- Who counsels me with more wisdom
          than the world's most renowned
            and wisest scholar could?

   -- Who can make even the mirror believe
          when he ways,
            "You are a very beautiful daughter"?

   -- Who has helped make my life brighter
          than the very
            brightest star?

God made words so that man could speak
   of the lovely things
      in life.

But even far greater than words,
   God created
      my Dad

And when He did, I think he knew
   that this greater creation
      would speak for itself.

My COVID Birthday

My C💝VID Birthday

A Blog for me so I'll never forget

Yesterday was my birthday.  I guess that birthdays have become less exciting as the years have stacked up on me, but especially with the current COVID-19 quarantine, I didn't have any expectations for this birthday.  As a matter of fact, I fully anticipated that I would have a few verbal wishes - and maybe a few video messages - but that would be about it.  As it turned out, it was one of my all time most favorite birthdays.  I am so very thankful for my amazing children and grandchildren, my kind siblings, and my dear friends who made my day perfect.   I wish I would have been able to record April 29, 2020 from start to finish.  I wanted to hang on to every minute and I want to remember every detail.  Hence, this blog.

It started with a knock on the door and a visit from my sweet friend, Brenda Blau.  I loved visiting with her in our outdoor, socially distant, living room (our porch), and the pumpkin cookie that she brought was delish.  The rest of the morning was seriously a string of happy phone calls, video calls, texts and email messages from kids, grandkids, brothers and sisters.  Somewhere in there, we had breakfast from Wendy's provided by Tom because we couldn't find a minute  to get a free grand slam curbside from Denny's.   I truly felt the love.

I had decided earlier that I would treat myself for my birthday by  throwing social distancing out the window for a short time, and cuddling with our two little COVID babies; Sammy who was born 6 weeks ago, and Eric who was born last week.  Because of the quarantine, I haven't been able to hold either of them much.  I went to Adam's to visit our little Sammy.  It felt so good to hold him in my arms.  He looked at me with big eyes and listened intently as I told him how much I love him.  He even gave me a little smile.  I hope he understood how precious he is to me and how much I want to be with him.  I cried on the drive home, just thinking about how wonderful it had been to hold  Sammy.

For lunch, two of my favorite people brought two of my favorite foods.  Becky and Tiffany picked up cilantro jalapeno hummus from pita jungle, and beef shwarma and hummus from Green Corner.  YUMMY.  When they walked in the door, I just couldn't help myself.  I threw my arms around them and hugged them tight.  It had been so long - so long since they had sat at our table, and so, so long since I've felt them in my arms.  For a person like me who loves the people in her life so deeply and who thrives on hugging those she loves, the hardest part of quarantine is my empty arms.  I sobbed as I hugged my girls.  I didn't want to let them go knowing that my  birthday break from quarantine would end with the day.

The afternoon flew by with  more calls and texts from loved ones and a very happy nap.  Even though Jan had already sent over cabbage salad and applesauce bread the day before, she came again to hand off a gift bag of toilet paper - the perfect gift for a COVID birthday.   Around 5:30, we heard honking and little voices yelling, "Happy Birthday, Grandma".  I grabbed a big bag of suckers and went outside to see a parade of decorated cars and vans driving slowly by with more of my favorite people hanging out the windows and even sitting on the car hoods and roofs.  They brought with them happy smiles, enthusiastic cheers, and oh so much joy for me.  The parade circled twice and then stopped in front of our house.  One carload at a time, each family came to the porch where Tom and I were sitting.  There wasn't a lot of hugging, although there were a few who came running into my arms and I just couldn't - and didn't even want to try to resist them.  Each family had chosen something that I do that they like, and  they presented that thing in their own creative way.  The parade began from my youngest child and went up in age order.  Since Josh, Lexie and Isaac are in Pinetop for the summer, they weren't here so Alex's and Natalja's family went first.

Joseph, Levi and Ellie were dressed in their Sunday best; white shirts, ties,  a vest and a pretty little dress.  The boys hair was slicked back just right.  Ellie's hair was in little blonde piggy tails with bows that matched her dress.  They came to me and handed me a bouquet of red flowers, and told me  what they liked about me was that I made up words to songs.  While Benni slept peacefully in his carseat, the other three (With Natalja's help) sang the song  "A You're Adorable".  It was complete with actions, which they did with so much enthusiasm.  They were the adorable ones! Watching them made me want to start up Cousin's Chorus again.  Besides the singing, Natalja had used my Mom's strawberry cake recipe from Mom's cookbook to make a delicious cake.  It looked, smelled and tasted just like what Mom made it.  It was fun to have a bit of Mom there.

Tiffany's and John's family was next up.  They said they liked  the books I make,  and they brought me a beautiful homemade book made by the little boys, along with some other pictures they had drawn.

Adam's and Melanie's family said they like it that I let them have animals at our house.  They decorated hearts and drew pictures of  birds and guinea pigs.  Autumn had even done an original painting on a canvas of a little blue parakeet.  Those little girls are such talented artists just like their Mom. 

Becky's and Trevor's family were all dressed up with different outfits and props.  They came plodding to the porch chanting, "Uh, Uh (pat knees) Who do we love - Grandma, What do we like - Cookies,  What does she make - Cookies, What's our favorite day - Uh, Uh Cookie Day".  The thing they liked about me was that I make cookies for them.  They left notes and hearts and Evie had baked a batch of absolutely delicious cookies that she shared with me.

I first saw Jake get out of their car.  He was in pajama pants, and I thought, "Wow, this quarantine is really allowing him to dress casual".  Then I noticed that Holly and all the kids also had pajama pants on.  The thing they said they liked about me was all the traditions that we have (including pajama pants).  They each told me something they loved about me, left cut out hearts, and gave Tom and I chimichangas and avocado salsa to eat for dinner.  Mmm, Mmm good!

Last was Thomas's and Carrie's family.  They said they liked it that I cut out letters and put them on the wall for birthday's etc.  Makenzie had cut out "HAPPY BIRTHDAY GRANDMA" and put it on their van window.  She had also made amazing sugar cookies and left me one. 

When everyone was done, they all gathered out by the cars and sang to me one more time.  Looking at that group across the yard almost overwhelmed me.  There just really aren't words . . .  There just really are not!

Tom and I enjoyed together our dinner of chimichangas and avocado salsa and before long, our kids starting to drop in.  For 6 weeks now, we've only visited at a distance while sitting on the front porch.  No one has been coming into the house.  But just for that day, we carefully celebrated at the kitchen table.  Tiffany brought a beautiful 3 layer chocolate peanut butter cake that she made.  It looked professional and tasted even better than it looked.  Jake and Holly came bringing Eric.  I loved him and hugged him and tried to fill full to the top with cuddles so it would last me until I get to do it again.  Carrie came, Adam came, Becky and Trevor came, and Natalja came and we all talked and laughed and celebrated until my birthday hours were almost all used up.  I watched each of them leave feeling sad to say good-bye, but filled with happiness and gratitude.

Who knew that this COVID Birthday would turn out to be one of the best birthdays of my life?  I had been in heaven from the moment I woke up to the moment I climbed into bed.  And all these people that made my day great?  Yep, they're angels!

 

"One Man" - Poem for Ilene at Duane's Passing

*Dedicated to Duane Wimmer, husband of my dear friend Ilene - One man whose shoes can never be filled.


                       "One Man"

One man stood out like a light in the crowd.
His feet planted firmly.  His step sure and proud.

One man moved ahead with a calm, steady gait.
So gentle, so tender, so kind was his trait.

One man's life laced with pure, simple pleasures.
His God and his family were his greatest treasures.

One man, when the road was rugged and steep,
Dug in his heels and smiled 'til his climb was complete.

One man walked a path where we've never been,
But with courage and dignity, he walked till the end.

One man leaves his footprints for those left to see.
Each step an example of true charity.

For now, one man's shoes will rest quiet and still.
For we know that his shoes are too large to fill.